You First Counseling

Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday is the second book that gives me chills after Outlier by Malcolm Gladwell. It is a reminder that while passion and dedication are paths to success, unchecked ego will lead to destruction Here are some highlight: Plus-minus and Equal by Frank Shamrock (an American former professional mixed martial artist). Each fighter needs to have someone better that they can learn from, someone less who they can teach, and someone equal they can challenge themselves against. (Get a mentor, have a mentee and peer(s) As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shores of our ignorance (Each victory and achievement that makes you smarter also bumps you against new situations you've never encountered before. Make it so you don't have to fake it rather than the famous fake it till you make it. The bigger the ego, the harder the fall. The way to rise is by reorientation and increased self-awareness, not self-pity (your own or from others) Ego makes it impossi...

                                                                GettyImages:cnythzl There are certain toxic traits that one can endure and there are some that shouldn't be heard of. That staff endure certain treatment doesn't mean it is right.  I recently quit a new job when I had none to fall back on. I have never done that before. I was so excited about the job and the opportunity to learn a new skill since I didn't have experience (cold calling) and I said hey we got this we are going to learn and be the best. But the leaders are toxic. I don't know which is worse the floor manager or the overall boss.  But I'll go with the floor manager because he downgrades people during meetings and every question asked is answered incorrectly and laced with abusive words.  For example: A colleague not been up to a month on t...

One of the reasons most Women hate working with women colleagues/ superiority is the fact that they can’t get away with being unproductive. An Istock Image by Fizkes A male superior might overlook some behaviors but a female superior won’t especially if the behavior is constant  When a male colleague complains about a female colleague, a male superior is likely to blame the man for fighting a woman and will remind the man that women are weak and they are stronger and ought to help them. So men rarely complain and they would finish any pending task of the woman to avoid talks from superiors  When a female complains about another female, male superiors will have to find a solution without placing the blame on anyone even if he tries to advise the oldest employee to be the bigger person- he knows he has to get to a 50-50 conclusion.  Now imagine a female reporting to a female superior. So most women would rather love to work with men that they can easily dump their tasks o...

  Those who will never apologize. They can never say they are sorry. Those who make a mistake then blame you or someone else for their mistake. They would claim it was something you did that led to their action. They can’t accept responsibility.  Those who commit an error yet insist that they are still correct. I'm not sure if it's due to ignorance or a constant desire to be right.  Those who pretend they really want to help but behind your back, they are actually the ones declining your offer. They will give different ideas on ways to try, encourage you that you’re the best but won’t give you a chance People who hold back praise and badger but berate you when you fail. They shield your 99 good then share your 1 bad. If anyone is exhibiting any character you love and admire and sincerely want it to continue, then never cease to tell them, pride them, etc. Selfish people: the truth is we are all selfish, we want good things to happen to us. However, we can’t be oblivion to...

  People don’t know YOU They only know the person you let them see (the mask you wear) You’re wildfire You’re untamed YOU see all the weight you carry How it breaks you down and forges a stronger version of you People don’t know YOU You’re soft and sweet like cake Do you think they know YOU? When they define you differently When YOU’re unpredictable You see how they misinterpret your meekness for weakness But, you know YOURSELF, so resist being influenced by the crude statements of those who are unfamiliar with you. It’s YOU first Your SPACE; your PEACE Own it With Love

  We know people that are currently in a toxic relationship, you’ve heard them talk about leaving the relationship but they never leave. Maybe they are in for financial benefits? Or perhaps it’s just love? And what about those people that hate their jobs but won’t quit? Why complain when they know what to do? If we give ourselves enough reason to hate someone we deeply love, we will wake up one morning and we are filled with hatred towards that person likewise if we want to fall in love with someone. What changed? “Enough reason to back up their decision” They haven’t convinced themselves with good enough painful reasons as to why they should leave. They only think of the pain they will derive after they leave. If the pain of leaving is greater than that of staying, they will stay. We weigh options and go for the less painful one. Remember when you thought you would die when your ex broke up with you? Look at you now doing just fine. You’ve convinced your heart with bitter feeling...

Thoughts can be deceiving!!!!!! One thing I've learned from experience is to never ASSUME. To assume someone knows what to do/say To assume someone knows exactly what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling. To assume what I think about someone or something is correct. To assume people will treat me how I want to be treated without demanding it. Assumptions are not Communication and can be misleading. An assumption is a vague vision of what's on the other person's mind. Assumptions are not facts, never start a fight, relationship, or business based on assumption. By communicating we understand each other. Most relationship end due to lack of communication- they assume their partner should know what’s on their mind even before they say the word and if their partner can’t do that it becomes “he/her doesn’t know me well” Like you, everyone is sorting out a lot of things. They aren’t saying a lot because they don’t want to be an additional burden to you. If you’re mad people aren’t se...

  The first day I ate Chinese fried rice, I fell in love, and it became lunch. l had a friend at work who would buy it for me  One day he wanted to get me lunch and I declined. I didn't decline because I wasn't hungry  The trick is this: 1. I treated him the way I would like to be treated. 2. I don't want him to get tired of buying me lunch, so sometimes I have to decline and other times I have to pay in his presence because I understand that givers get tired when they give on a regular basis and when they don't receive depending on the relationship. My annoyance with few humans is once you agree to help them once, you automatically agree to help them forever. Givers get tired, so ask with caution and moderation. What humans taught me is a good deed I can't keep up until Jesus comes I shouldn't even start. So before I say yes to a request I have to access the person requesting- will this person make this request over and over again, if the answer is yes, then I ...

  What is the future of freelancers in Nigeria? As the world moves towards innovation, Nigeria always seems to play catch up.  Change is constant and it isn’t restricted to humans alone. The work landscape is always changing, sometimes for good and sometimes for worse. While the change in the workplace is scary it makes freelancing fun. Initially, the traditional job offers some sort of job security, retirement with a pension. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case due to unexpected changes like a layoff, and wage slash, etc.  The pandemic gave freelancers the center stage- everyone had to work from home and 3 months down the line everyone realized they could work remotely. It was the moment of truth for most people and a career change.  The Internet has opened up many independent opportunities, helped small businesses, and has expanded other businesses. Freelance marketplaces have also globalized competition for some jobs, and yes it has made many go the extra mi...

Listening to Rory Sutherland (vice-chairman of the Ogilvy) sparked an infinite interest in marketing in a young writer/social media marketer who’s fantasizing about both of us getting married and building a home together. I am thrilled to say I want to be a part of you (an unpaid internship) position at MEMAC Ogilvy Dubai , United Arab Emirates.  I am passionate about the new meaning of marketing, making marketing Psychological rather than logical. I would love to channel my skills as a writer and Marketing Intern. I'm not going to presume that you don't give a damn about the other ladies I've been with. So, while in Nigeria, I was in a relationship with a Tech company ( JD Lab ) as a writer and social media marketer. I don't typically do this, however, I became intimate with another lady (TEDxMinna) as a writer and social media Team Leader. I swear it wasn't long. I was in charge of managing the social media profiles and producing material for them. These women an...