Skip to main content

Sympathy and Empathy

 Why do say you understand how I feel when I'm not done expressing how l feel? 

Why apologize when you haven't understood my anger?

After a fight, the fighters always explain " their anger" even when everyone is trying hard to pacify them. 

Why say Oya sorry make the case die make nobody talk again when that person still has a lot to get out of their chest.

Most times people don't need your empathy or sympathy, they just want to be heard and be understood.

Saying I've said sorry naw creates more heat. 

 What happened to your active listening skills, ability to comprehend, and l pay attention to little details? Never apologize just to shut people up. 

It's like spanking a child and when the child cries out you spank him/her again to keep quiet. Suppressing their pain.


It's okay to say l can't picture what you went through or l wish l know how you feel right now. True- apologies work great miracles. But if you had listened you won't have to apologize, better still you will know what to say.

50% of people just want to talk, want to share their burden, not to be schooled on what to do, not for sympathy, or empathy but to be understood.

Use your active listening skills before your problem-solving ability or judgemental skills.

With ❤️

@cynth_epelle


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What Happens When we Attach Pain

  We know people that are currently in a toxic relationship, you’ve heard them talk about leaving the relationship but they never leave. Maybe they are in for financial benefits? Or perhaps it’s just love? And what about those people that hate their jobs but won’t quit? Why complain when they know what to do? If we give ourselves enough reason to hate someone we deeply love, we will wake up one morning and we are filled with hatred towards that person likewise if we want to fall in love with someone. What changed? “Enough reason to back up their decision” They haven’t convinced themselves with good enough painful reasons as to why they should leave. They only think of the pain they will derive after they leave. If the pain of leaving is greater than that of staying, they will stay. We weigh options and go for the less painful one. Remember when you thought you would die when your ex broke up with you? Look at you now doing just fine. You’ve convinced your heart with bitter feeling...

The Dangers of Making Assumptions

Thoughts can be deceiving!!!!!! One thing I've learned from experience is to never ASSUME. To assume someone knows what to do/say To assume someone knows exactly what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling. To assume what I think about someone or something is correct. To assume people will treat me how I want to be treated without demanding it. Assumptions are not Communication and can be misleading. An assumption is a vague vision of what's on the other person's mind. Assumptions are not facts, never start a fight, relationship, or business based on assumption. By communicating we understand each other. Most relationship end due to lack of communication- they assume their partner should know what’s on their mind even before they say the word and if their partner can’t do that it becomes “he/her doesn’t know me well” Like you, everyone is sorting out a lot of things. They aren’t saying a lot because they don’t want to be an additional burden to you. If you’re mad people aren’t se...

A Poetic Formal Letter to MEMAC Ogilvy

Listening to Rory Sutherland (vice-chairman of the Ogilvy) sparked an infinite interest in marketing in a young writer/social media marketer who’s fantasizing about both of us getting married and building a home together. I am thrilled to say I want to be a part of you (an unpaid internship) position at MEMAC Ogilvy Dubai , United Arab Emirates.  I am passionate about the new meaning of marketing, making marketing Psychological rather than logical. I would love to channel my skills as a writer and Marketing Intern. I'm not going to presume that you don't give a damn about the other ladies I've been with. So, while in Nigeria, I was in a relationship with a Tech company ( JD Lab ) as a writer and social media marketer. I don't typically do this, however, I became intimate with another lady (TEDxMinna) as a writer and social media Team Leader. I swear it wasn't long. I was in charge of managing the social media profiles and producing material for them. These women an...